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Nostalgia… what is that? Going back to the past and trying to find out the lost old days, happy moments and then coming back to reality, realizing you are in just an opposite state.
May be you should think again. Did you actually leave anything behind? Or better to put it in this way, have I been able to leave anything? For the last 27 years, I have been waking up to the same old life. Of course there were phases – childhood days, student life and currently the great working stage. There were times when I believed, all I do is for a stable career. To get appreciation for the work I have done and by the end of the month get paycheck for the toil.
But what has left in for me to cherish? My degrees gave me a job and in turn money, to earn a living. As for the living part, I stay with my parents; so I still don’t stand to say “earning a living”. Or maybe I can say that because I see some of my colleagues are on the same pay-scale and still making a living out of it. Err, whatever!!
But, do I want that living? Do I want to go to a room enclosed within 4 walls with artificial cold air blowing down from a machine? The answer is NO!!!
I feel like a balloon that has been tied to a rod. It is allowed to float in air but it is not permitted to fly away. The wind thrust it in different directions but it cannot loosen up the string.
Yes, I feel like that. I can see places, I can see travelers, I can see roads but I cannot fly away. Every day I wake up to see the same old houses, trees, and people shouting about their unending problems. Papers have nothing good to say rather than printing the shittiest news on its first page.
Is this the life I presumed to live? I need to cut off that string or ill get deflated soon and accept the nostalgia of nothingness, killing the traveler that lies within me.